kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It's shark week go big or go home
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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