We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
