this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
We're too hungover to prance.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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