whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
