Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just want to make out with him forever
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
