do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
