Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
