unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You made out with two different species that night
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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