yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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