garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i will never coherently bang her
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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