I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I want to fling myself into the sun
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
