just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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