i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
