Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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