Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
