Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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