I can feel you judging me through the phone.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
