Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
