Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
