i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
