so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
my vag is so smooth its legendary
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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