she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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