Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
