i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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