Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
