Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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