i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
