Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
