youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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