just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
