Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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