Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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