worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I met the friendliest cop last night
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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