How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
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