Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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