You work out of a Hotel?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
