Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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