He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
