We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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