That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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