I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
