You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
