what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I can't turn off my feet"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
