Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
