Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
