he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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