I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
