saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
jump out the window naked night went bad
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
