You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
