Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
