I love black thongs
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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